When Humor Hurts: Where Fun Ends and Workplace Inappropriate Behavior Begins
June 29, 2026
The article explores the fine line between innocent humor and inappropriate innuendo in the workplace. Based on specific experiences, it shows how seemingly “innocent” jokes can reduce psychological safety, affect performance and relationships in the team, and in extreme cases, lead to employee departure. It explains why people often do not realize the impact of their words and the role that company culture and leadership play and offers recommendations on how to set healthy boundaries, communicate uncomfortable situations, and prevent a toxic workplace environment.
Have you ever come across a remark or joke that made you uncomfortable?
Of course, many times and repeatedly. As a recent example, I can cite a request from a person in a senior management position that I turn on the camera during an online interview because he was looking at me well. He probably meant the remark innocently, but in the context of the situation it was quite inappropriate.
Personally, I love humor and joking, and I am of the opinion that it definitely belongs in the work environment. It can relax the atmosphere and can even be a great form of mental hygiene. However, it is always necessary to choose the context sensitively so that the humor is kind and no one feels uncomfortable.
What do you think distinguishes an innocent joke from an inappropriate innuendo?
First of all, the intention of the person who makes it. An innocent joke amuses everyone involved, does not create a sense of threat, and does not lower self-esteem. An inappropriate innuendo directly attacks the victim and their characteristics. These can be, for example, age, gender, ethnicity, position in the team, or competence. This is basically aggression disguised as a joke. If the victim decides to defend themselves, they are often belittled by the aggressor in the team because they “don’t get the joke.” In therapy, I often hear that clients accept “humorous” comments just to avoid conflict, but in reality, they feel anxious or ashamed.
Can you describe a situation where someone crossed the line? What exactly happened?
During my time in HR, I experienced one rather extreme case. An employee tried to have inappropriate conversations with female colleagues that started as seemingly humorous and innocent, but over time, he began to make sexual advances to them and, in several cases, sent them unsolicited intimate photos. This happened in a young team where tolerance for inappropriate innuendo was high, so the harassment went unreported for a long time. It was only reported when this employee was promoted to a higher position and began to abuse his decision-making powers. The most disturbing thing about this case is that the person's behavior had been known about for a long time; colleagues were uncomfortable, but they only spread the information among themselves because they did not want to be considered oversensitive in the team.
Do these situations affect work performance or relationships in the team?
Yes, significantly. The energy that people put into protecting themselves from unpleasant comments is then lost when performing work tasks. I have also worked with several clients
whose situations escalated to the point where they began to experience psychosomatic problems, such as headaches, heart palpitations, and insomnia. Everyone looked for their own way to deal with the situation, but they all eventually left the toxic environment.
What effect do such comments and behavior have on the atmosphere at work?
Inappropriate humor in a team reduces psychological safety. If there is someone in the workplace whose humor and comments are perceived by others as threatening, people will start to be more careful and will monitor their behavior so as not to be ridiculed. In practice, this means that team dynamics slow down, employee engagement and satisfaction decrease, and mutual communication deteriorates.
Do you think that people are always aware of the impact of their words?
Very often, people are not fully aware of the impact of their words. In psychology, this is called a “bias blind spot,” and it means that a person sees prejudices and mistakes in the actions of others but is unable to realize them in themselves. It is also necessary to remember that the same joke or innuendo can be perceived completely differently by two people.
Recently, I helped repair the relationship between a manager and his subordinate at work. It was an older man with a relaxed, even cheerful communication style who liked to crack various jokes, sometimes even ticklish ones. On the other hand, there was a colleague who seemed rather reserved, was more focused on performance than on building relationships, and had clearly set
personal boundaries. Their interaction gradually reached the point where both perceived the other's behavior as hostile.
During the joint work, we managed to create a space for mutual understanding. Both began to better understand how their behavior affects the other and what emotions it can evoke.
Fortunately, this case developed well. Now they both respect each other professionally. They will probably never be close in the way they communicate, but they have managed to establish a way of working together in which neither of them feels uncomfortable.
"Very often, people are not fully aware of the impact of their
words. In psychology, this is called a "bias blind spot," and it
means that a person sees prejudices and mistakes in the actions
of others, but is unable to realize them in themselves. It is also
necessary to remember that the same joke or allusion can be
perceived completely differently by two people."
How should a company properly communicate the boundaries between appropriate and
inappropriate behavior?
Most companies have created an internal regulation for this purpose that defines and prohibits inappropriate behavior in the workplace. At this point, it is important that the rules are not general but that they specifically describe what such behavior looks like and what employees should do if it occurs.
Prevention plays a very important role. Information campaigns and training for employees are proven to help people recognize problematic situations and, at the same time, give them specific tools to respond to them. This can be supplemented, for example, by practicing assertive techniques in specific model situations. All of this then significantly improves employees' readiness to act appropriately when they encounter inappropriate behavior.
The role of managers is crucial, as they must lead by example. If leaders respect the set boundaries, they significantly influence what behavior becomes the norm throughout the organization.
Do you feel safe when you want to point out inappropriate behavior?
I have never had a problem with this personally. If someone crosses the line, I can define myself quite clearly. I usually do it in a light-hearted way and with humor, but in a few cases, I have had to openly explain to the person in question that I find their behavior unpleasant. Fortunately, I have not been in a situation where I have had to deal with inappropriate behavior formally.
In practice, however, I often work with people who have a much more complicated situation. I meet clients who remain in an unpleasant situation for a long time because they do not know how to resolve it. Often, this is due to the fear that they will appear overly sensitive in front of their colleagues, or they are afraid of provoking a conflict. These factors then lead to the problem not being resolved promptly, and it can gradually escalate.
What would help these people respond better to inappropriate remarks in a real situation?
When working with clients with similar experiences, I focus on building self-confidence and the ability to perceive one’s own boundaries and communicate uncomfortable feelings. In some cases, they expect the other party to understand that their behavior is uncomfortable, and they will not speak up. When I validate during the consultation that the situation is not okay and that they have the right to defend themselves, it helps them to react more confidently and without feeling guilty in uncomfortable moments.
For example, I worked with a young woman who often faced inappropriate innuendos from some colleagues at work. She did not know how to respond to them because the innuendos commented positively on her appearance, but in a work context, they were inappropriate and very uncomfortable for her personally. However, she did not want to disrupt the relationships in the team with her reaction. This client was helped by practicing appropriate reactions in model situations. She first tried them out in a safe environment and then was able to apply them to real situations. Her work environment was initially surprised by the change in her behavior, but soon they understood and reset the boundaries. The inappropriate behavior stopped without disrupting the working atmosphere.
What steps do you think the company should take to prevent similar situations?
The company's management should create a company culture that is safe for employees and in which problematic behavior is unacceptable.
In practice, this means having a clearly defined internal methodology that specifically describes what is already over the edge and at the same time sets out procedures for how to act in such situations. It should also include a functional reporting mechanism that can be used not only by people directly affected by the situation but also by those who witness it.
Employee trust in the entire system is also key. The company should regularly communicate that each suggestion will be properly investigated and that the whistleblower will not be exposed to any negative consequences. It is precisely the feeling of safety and fair treatment that is essential for people to have the courage to speak up and contribute to creating a healthy working environment.
About the author:
Mgr. Klára Kárníková
Psychologist and psychotherapist
Klára is a psychologist, coach, and lecturer. She helps people
discover their potential and develop it—whether in their work or
personal life. She knows how to listen and support, but also
sensitively move forward and guide them through the process of
change. She is empathetic and supportive, looks for their spark in people, and is not afraid of humor.
She graduated with a single subject in psychology at the Faculty of Arts, Charles University in Prague.
focusing on work and organizational psychology, and completed ICF-accredited coaching
training. She has been working in large companies for more than 15 years, providing consultancy
to management and employees and focusing on work and personal topics.
